“You came out running,” my mom tells me. I remember from an early age that I was naturally athletic and pushed myself in every sport I played.

I was incredibly driven and competitive. And as an athlete and an over-achiever, I wanted to be the best at everything I did.

Have you ever felt that? The undeniable desire to be the best at everything you do? Maybe you’re like me and play or played a bunch of different sports. Or maybe you have your one “thing” that you focus on. Either way, you’re driven and want to be the best. That’s natural. It’s admirable. It’s often one of the characteristics that make the best athletes the best. 

But there’s also a problem with that, and hear me out. 

YOUR GOALS COULD BE MIS-ALIGNED.

Often, we set athletic goals for ourselves – big – dreamy – national champion winning goals – but we don’t think about what that means for the rest of our life.

We chase these goals and sacrifice for them. We do so with a tunnel vision toward the success we desire as an athlete, but did you ever think about those sacrifices before you made them? Did you consciously decide you were okay with them or did they just happen?

Looking back on my life…and I mean my entire life…I sacrificed a lot for my athletic goals. I gave up weekends with friends to travel and train with a private coach. There was no cake for friend’s birthdays or loaded nachos at Denny’s late on Friday nights. In college…Gone were almost all social activities. I never drank or went to parties. I always looked at my athletic goals and “wanted them more”, which meant a sacrifice in other areas of my life.

But I look back now and wonder, is that what I really wanted, or was it a habit I developed – to shut out and sacrifice areas of my social life – because I was an athlete? I remember rarely feeling truly happy outside the gym. I lacked connection, deep friendships with classmates outside my track team, and the social connection that we all desire and need deep down inside. 

So what did I really want back then? I don’t know, because I never had the introspective awareness to sit down and ask myself.

But I now know, after graduating and trying to find my place in the world as a 20-something, that the questions “What do I really want?” and “What am I willing to sacrifice?” are pivotal in making decisions and setting goals.

Your athletic and physical goals absolutely have to align with your personal goals. 

Choosing to chase a dream will always come with sacrifice. You have to decide if that sacrifice is worth it.

You need to have a real conversation with yourself about what you want when it comes to:

• Your athletic achievements and goals

• Time with friends and family

• Participating in social events

• Enjoying eating all foods fully

• Time spent on learning and academics

• Time spent enjoying other hobbies

• And other areas of your life that bring you fulfillment

What do you want each of these areas to look like? Which are you willing to sacrifice for others? Which ones are you unwilling to take time from?

What happens when you don’t align your goals?

1. If you begin chasing your dreams on the field, the track, the court, it’s possible that you will sacrifice these areas naturally. They could become second to your sport without you truly deciding that’s what you want. This can cause guilt, unhappiness, and loneliness. If you don’t understand exactly why you’re choosing to do what you do, it makes it harder to stand in your decisions.

2. If you decide you want to “be the best”, but don’t want to make the sacrifices it takes to get there, you can become frustrated with your progress. For example, I had friends who wanted to be National Qualifiers in college, but they also went and drank every weekend, slept very little, and didn’t prioritize their nutrition. They were constantly frustrated with their performance. And guess what? They fell short on qualifying for Nationals. In the end, they wanted social life more than they wanted the athletic goals, but they didn’t realize it because they didn’t ask themselves if their goals aligned. 

The objective of Goal Alignment is to make sure you understand exactly what you choose to do and what you have to sacrifice to make that happen.

There is no wrong answer and no shame in deciding you’d rather have more time with friends and family. There is also no shame in choosing to devote your life to your sport.

Ask yourself these questions early and often. Revisit the alignment of your goals every couple of months. Evaluate where your priorities lie. Decide where things need to shift. And remember, we aren’t looking for balance – we are looking for alignment.

Because for true happiness and success in all areas of your life – you need to know what you truly want and align your goals and priorities accordingly.

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